Day 52: Trudging Progress

In Which Our Heroine Agrees to Throw Away Her Future Prospects

Project Title: The Mistress of Frosthaven
Genre: YA – Dark Fantasy
Words Today: 2,155
Running Total: 20,268
Scrap Draft: (V1.0 = 31,142), V2.0 = 8,368

Pre-Writing Note: I don’t want to write tonight. I feel like crap. I’m in a bad mood. The last thing I want to do is squeeze some creativity out of my clogged ears. I want to drink tea. Maybe watch Jane the Virgin or Grace & Frankie Season 3 which just came live on Netflix today. I want to lean back on the couch and just…not…today. I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired. I’ve been functioning at 50% energy for the past four days, and I’m just so over being under the weather. I want to feel like me again. I want to feel some excitement for…anything, at this point. I feel like I’m bogged in the draft, though I know I’m making progress. I just have to get over this freaking Plot Point One hump, and hopefully things will loosen up a little. I’m frustrated by a lack of control over my own time—and I don’t mean lacking the discipline, but lacking the actual ability to say “this is my time, for me, right now, don’t interrupt me for X minutes/hours.” It’s not a matter, either, that can be easily overcome by setting personal boundaries, because the level of emotional support needed right now is non-negotiable. It’s part of my job, so to speak. But I miss the freedom to define my own time, especially on nights like tonight when I wish I could have written earlier in the day rather than last thing at night, but last thing at night is the only time I have any chance of claiming for myself. So late at night it is. But I’m tired. I’m achy. I’m bummed out and listless and annoyed and just…don’t want to do it tonight. But I will. Because at least at the end of day, I can look back and say with all honesty: I did the work. And sometimes that’s all that’s keeping me going these days.

Solid night of work, actually, despite taking some effort to get going. Managed to complete a fairly important sequence, and finally (FINALLY!) hit 20k on the new draft, which means I’m probably within a week or so of recouping everything I had to discard last month. Originally, prior to the discard, I’d been hoping to hit midpoint by this time, but I’ll settle for past Plot Point One if I can wrestle it out. Just to be done with Act One!

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