Friday Update: NOPE.

I finished that body horror story rewrite this week, and I think the universe is punishing me for writing it! XD In the past week, I have had not ONE but TWO wolf spiders crawl into bed while I was lying there reading by booklight and can I just say, very loudly, NOPE. NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE!

Once, you can rationalize and say, Ok, what are the odds that’ll happen again, huh? When was the last time you saw a giant hairy OMG big wolf spider in your bed? Huh? Yeah, like never. You’ll be fine. It was a fluke.

The second time? Oh shit, that could be a trend.

And I totally get that some times of year we get more of them indoors than at other times, but that doesn’t mean I want my face to become Wolf Spider Highway 32, THANKS.

This has since prompted Andy and I to get a REAL BIG KID BED, instead of sleeping on the floor like college kids, which we’ve done for…oh, the past 7+ years. BUT. It won’t come for a couple weeks yet, so I have to figure out a way to prop up my bed off the floor so I don’t hyperventilate every time I go to bed until then. Yaaaaaaaaay…

Have I ever mentioned I hate spiders? Trust me, I get it, intellectually I fully admit they’re beneficial little bastards, but I really, really, really, reeeeeally hate them. It’s the way they move. I have a theory that people typically fall into one of two categories: snakes or spiders. And it seems primarily movement-based, because it doesn’t matter to me whether a spider is actually venomous or fanged or not: it’s seeing it scramble over things that freaks me the FLIP out. And for my mother who hates snakes? Same deal: doesn’t matter if it’s a garter snake or something without teeth, it still FREAKS HER OUT. It’s so visceral, so illogical, and yet there it is.

And I married an aracnophile. So I have worked on it. I more often than not try to catch and release them (but if they’re uncooperative or rush me, f* it, they’re dead, I tried, but NO). I have even learned that I’m actually chill with jumping spiders and that they’re rather cute, and that cellar spiders don’t bug me too much.

BUT F*ING WOLF SPIDERS MAN. I just cannot with them. I will try to spare their lives (in fact, I VERY BENEVOLENTLY let a baby one outside just the other day when my son found it, and it was FINE, and I’m happy it’ll go on to kill less beneficial bugs), but there’s something about those legs, dude…

It’s funny, because I actually write about spiders a lot, in large part because I hate them so much. I don’t want to hate them. In fact, on more than one occasion, I’ve written fantasy stories that include talking spiders or giant (nonbiting) mega tarantula-type beasties. I’ve even got some ideas for stories that include a LOT of spiders, but in real life…whoof.

I’m working on it. But we’re not there yet, folks.

Accomplished This Week:

Added 4k to the book-in-progress, and passed 50k on it, which feels great. About halfway now.

Also finished Draft 2 of the body horror story involving wolf spiders for which the universe is punishing me.

ALSO finished Draft 1 of “Catching College,” which is a short story set in the Behemoth universe, so THAT’S nice. All in all, a pretty productive week, despite some skipped naps.

Inspiring Me This Week:

Have I told you all how much I love Gideon the Ninth? No?! CUZ I DO. A LOT. I finished it yesterday night (right before Mr. Spiderpants thought he could just sidle on up into bed), and it was pretty fantastic. I’m seriously looking at getting Harrow the Ninth sooner rather than later, but I do want to switch it up a bit, first.

Beds. Beds off the floor. That’s been inspiring me a LOT lately.

For Next Week:

Another 3k on the book-in-progress, and finish and submit the body horror story for once and all. And if I get frisky, maybe I’ll punch out another story to hit my four for the month, but that’ll be a big leap unless it’s flash.

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