Journal, Writing

Not Unproductive, and yet…

So I actually bothered to make a list of all the things I need to do this week while my parents and sister are in California for her school orientation. This is proof that I actually attempted to be productive, and trust me, that’s worth something, darn it!

Of my list, I got some of the minor things done, along with the dishes, calling Harv about payment stuff, washing the dog, hijacking my parents’ Netflix list so Andy and I actually get movies _We_ want to watch this week, made the bed, did Lesson 9 of Swiss German, planned out what Andy and I are going to eat for the rest of the week. Plenty of stuff. So why do I still feel so unproductive? Because I didn’t do any writing. Again. This is getting to be a very bad habit of mine–procrastination/laziness has adeptly bumped itself up into first-place in the rankings of my greatest personal weaknesses. It’s got a mind of it’s own, it has! Example:

Wouldn’t it just be easier to watch TV?

I don’t _feel_ like writing.

I can’t think straight about this story today.

It’ll be hard.

Why can’t the stories just write themselves?

I’m not 100% sure where I’m going yet, and that’ll just make more work for me later.

This next sequence is going to be boring, so why bore myself with it?

Editing sucks. I’d rather work on something new… but not that…

It’s too dark and cloudy out. I wanna take a nap.

I really should check my email. Maybe write in the blog…

*and the ever present:* I’d rather daydream about being a published author someday.

*Le sigh.* I’m very frustrated with myself. I didn’t even do any research! I have completely gutted myself of drive. All my energy is sapped. Bah, it’s terrible. And it doesn’t make me feel any better to push it all off. In fact, it makes me feel more crappy, because I feel like I wasted a day.

I need to do some critters critiques so I can actually get some of my stories up there for critiques within the next month. I _could_ edit one of them and put it in the queue and _then_ work to bring up my percentage, but that would require actually doing writing, wouldn’t it? XP

I’m so annoying to myself sometimes.

*sloughs off to make a half-hearted attempt at being productive*

EDIT: Did get a Critters done! Yay for being slightly productive! ^_^

1 thought on “Not Unproductive, and yet…”

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