Journal, Writing

The Daily News: Ah, the Old Ennui

Today’s Session – 8AM-10AM – Took a long time to warm up today, almost forty-five minutes in all to get to actual writing, and then only managed to sustain the energy until about 9:30AM. With the latest chapter of TDD done and out, I’d have thought the listlessness I’ve been feeling for the last few days would dissipate with it, but yet it lingers. I won’t bore you with the whiny details–in fact, truth be told there aren’t any details to tell. That’s what’s driving me most nuts, I think–there’s no good reason to feel so blah, though it definitely surfaces in association with writing lately.

But at least I’m gradually getting things done. Back to chugging along on “The First Ghost of Old Shore,” and I’ve got a list of new ideas I’d like to dive into, but need to finish this first before I can tackle any of them. There are a number of other stories, too, that need revisions desperately, but I lost my notes on the one I *really* want to edit, and that’s incredibly frustrating. I don’t even know if they were good notes, but I’d like the option of reading them and deciding, “Yeah, no.” :)

I think I’m going to start calling this feeling “The Rome Syndrome” (as in, “Rome wasn’t built in a day”) because I think it has to do with a sense of not being as far along as I’d like to be at this point. Not that I could do anything different, and not that there have been any (or many) missed opportunities that could have put me further along my own career path in regards to writing, or even in regards to reading. I feel behind, or like I’m waiting for something important (though I don’t know what) that hasn’t happened yet, and can’t move forward until it does. That kind of nonsense. Or perhaps it’s like pushing one of those giant Egyptian sandstone blocks up a ramp to build a pyramid, slowly, slowly, slowly grinding away, without even being able to see the shape of it yet. That’s a bit closer, perhaps…

But since there’s little I seem to be able to do about it, I’ll just have to watch more Miyazaki flicks, because for some reason, those seem to lift the ennui and give me a little energy back. :) I should probably read some Nero Wolfe, too. Archie always makes me laugh. ^_^

Things will be a lot more interesting tomorrow, when Andrew Porter‘s THREE QUESTIONS goes live! :) Visit his site, The Science of Fiction, and check out his awesome interview with Elizabeth Bear in the meantime! :D

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