Journal, Writing

Life in the Improbability Lane

petuniaOh no, not again, said the writer-mom.

Setting goals has become incredibly difficult these days, and for those of you who follow this blog, you know how much I rely on goals to get anything done. Every week with the Little Guy has its joys and challenges, and one major challenge as he hits the two month mark (two months?! Where did the time go?) is his disinterest in napping. At least for this week. Next week, who knows?

And therein lies the difficulty. Like a clever little time-hacker, the LG’s constant changes make it nearly impossible to set any kind of goal. Will he settle down after eating and allow me 20 minutes of time to throw in a load of laundry, grab some food, or jot down a few more research notes for the current novel project? Or will he spit-up all over himself and me for the third time in two hours? Will he refuse to settle down for a nap and scream all afternoon because he’s tired, but can’t figure out how to sleep? Or will he be wide awake and adorable, making it impossible to get anything done, but d’awwwww who cares, I don’t ever want to look away from the cute! Will he enter a growth-spurt which will return us to  the feed/burp/10 minutes of smiles and alertness/IMSTARVINGZOMGMOMFEEDME routine of his first several weeks? Or will he crash out mid-afternoon for a two hour nap that comes so rarely these days I can’t help checking every five minutes to make sure he’s still breathing?

Or will he take a tremendous dump that spills out of his diaper and compromises not just his clothes, but a blanket, the cover to his bouncy seat, and a pair of my pants? (Which he just did…oy…) >_o

Needless to say, it’s complicated things a bit in the goal-setting arena. I do my best to remind myself that this time is just inherently chaotic, and to just let go and go with the flow. Most days, I manage that pretty well.* But sometimes, it feels like I’m on the Heart of Gold, flying at random through the universe with no tether.

My husband’s been great this week with trying to allow me a single spare hour to sit alone in a room and recuperate from the inevitable ringing in my ears. It’s not everyday, but it’s still lovely. In the silence, I get a tiny piece of my mind back, and I can do something just for me, to remind me that I do still exist as an independent entity from the LG. This last week, I’ve been working on the preliminary research for a novel. It’s been great. One hour, just one precious hour when I don’t have to worry about being interrupted, when I can be surrounded by quiet, when I can recharge my social meter, when I can just focus on me.

And after that, I’m ready and roaring to take on my mommy-mantle again. After all, who could spend more than an hour away from a face like this?:


*I’ve become much better at typing single-handed on the laptop or phone, even to the point of posting blogs like this one! I’ve come to realize how active I really like to be, even though I’d consider myself a Type-H personality (H = horizontal). But after four weeks of being able to do nothing but watch TV because both hands were needed all the time: yeah, I feel the gnawing desire to be productive again.

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