Cartooning/Drawing, Journal, Writing

Write In/White Out : Meltdown


I’ve determined that I have an emotionally abusive relationship with my muse. 

Writing Stuff:

Yesterday evening was a stupid evening. I think the inspiration center of my brain (open M-W 10AM-2PM, Th-F 8AM-11AM, closed S/Sun/and whenever the heck it feels like it) and the anxiety center of my brain (24/7/365–always there when you don’t need it!) are in the same grimy strip mall I call a mind. It seemed like any and all hope of ever writing anything half-way decent was crushed to crap by my own twisted logic. It was *lovely* I assure you. Hence, the above doodle.

This afternoon, during my lunch break, I resolved–still aching from the self-inflicted emo-blows of last night–to not worry about getting anything accomplished. Instead, I would only try *not* to worry. It was the voice of my protagonist which was throwing me into agonies, so I figured a little mindless, unproductive practice couldn’t hurt. As an exercise, I did this: Try to write the story of The Three Little Pigs in the protagonist’s voice. How would she tell the story? 

It worked.

500+ painstaking words on the second section of “THE UNTITLED NOVEL PROJECT” to now be nicknamed “DARK MATTER” because that was the original title way back when, and that’s how I refer to it in my head and in my notes/saves. And they’re not horrible. In fact, since I finished reading THE TERRIBLE HOURS last night, I really dug into the whole submarine rescue stuff. 

Note: I just spared you from yet another attempt at my being “cute”. You can pay me back later.

Apex Magazine, Art, Cartooning/Drawing, Journal, Pictures, Writing

Painting is fun!

So I finally got myself some brushes/paint/etc. to start trying to oil paint. Figured it’d be cheaper than therapy as a way to relieve stress, lol. Haven’t done much art in a while, and I was chomping at the bit to get going, so yesterday I got to it! This was my first attempt:


The picture is a little blurry, but I couldn’t use a flash. >.< Sorry about that. I was pretty happy with it, considering I’ve never oil-painted before. Still have a ton to learn (like more drastic differences in shadow/more realistic face structure/etc.) but I feel like this first attempt at least gives me hope that I might actually be able to paint more realistic people someday, with a lot of practice. Figure I’ll move on to portraits/full-body portraits next from pictures.

painting2So today, I wanted to give it another go with some different styling. The day before I’d painted one half of the long canvas a reddish-purple, and wanted to try a portrait over it. I was originally shooting to create a likeness of one of my Thief characters, but the colors I selected (going more dramatic this time, to practice shading/face-structure again) and the facial structures (no sketch behind it this time) ended up creating a semi-David-Bowie/vampire look. Still, overall I’m really pretty happy with it. Will have to work on the translation of what’s-in-my-head to what’s-on-the-canvas, but still–for a second attempt, I’m content. ^_^

And for some other random pictures I’ve been meaning to post: Maple-Whiskey Salmon I made a week or two ago, and Mei and Ozzy on our bed.



Also, looks like I’m staying on at work for at least another month! YAY! So mid-January I’ll find out if I’m staying more permanently or if the temp job is going to end. At least I’ve got cash flow for the holiday season! ^_^

Now, off to do submissions and other Apexy work!

Writing Stuff: Continue reading “Painting is fun!”

Cartooning/Drawing, Journal, Writing


SOOOOOOOO-! I’ve been doing some drawing lately. Not realistic drawing, mind, but cartooning. It’s been quite a while since I sat down and sketched/lined/colored something, and it’s hugely relaxing for me. Kicks me right into that right-brained timelessness, and my focus can be unbelievable (multi-hour drawing sessions, for example). I love doing this stuff! Good grief, I need to do it more often.

And I need to look into oil painting. That’s my next area of interest, besides trying to improve my real-life drawing. I’d love someday to be able to do my own coverart (provided there’s a cover to art–lol).

Writing Stuff:

Should be hearing back from my second reader on “Mimicry” soon, and then I’ll be punching away at the next draft.


“Mechanical Difficulties”


Cartooning/Drawing, Journal, Writing

“I find it rather unpleasant when people call me an idiot to my face.”

– Prince Myshkin, The Idiot

I’ve been so bad at keeping up on this regularly, I’m not even going to try to catch up with everything that’s been going on. I’m just going to start with today and attempt to move forward.

So! Today I was actually fairly productive. I bothered to make a list of the things I needed to, and I actually managed to get most of that list finished. Got in a little bit of exercise (for those who know me, that’s a big accomplishment!), which was good. Not enough, really, but it’s still something. It’s just been so unbearably hot! I know, I know, that’s no excuse, but whatever. I have been monitoring the number of steps I take in a day, which at least makes me more aware of my sedentary lifestyle.

I also finally gave a donation to the Nashua Soup Kitchen and Shelter, which is something I’ve been meaning to do for at least two weeks, and just haven’t done. I wouldn’t mind volunteering some of my time, too, this summer, since I’m not working. Just have to figure out when would work.

Most of the other stuff had to do with writing, so I’ll go into all that below. Other than those things, I started The Idiot by Fyodor Dostoyevsky the other day because I’ve been craving something by him for at least a month. I must say, even in translation, he never ceases to impress me. I absolutely ADORE Dostoyevsky. And in this heat, reading about cold Petersburg nights is just what I need to keep sane.

Also of note: finished the cover art for the upcoming Nameless To Say CD, Borderline Abusive EP, for Koby (my cousin):

Nameless To Say_Borderline Abusive EP Nameless To Say_Back

I really enjoyed getting a chance to actually play around with Photoshop. I haven’t had a chance to do much art in the past couple months, so it was a great release. I think it’s really good for writers to have a more tangible form of art to cut loose on every now and then that they can actually look at and say with confidence, “yeah, that looks good.” It’s just so hard to do that with writing. Or at least, it is for me.

Writing Stuff: Continue reading ““I find it rather unpleasant when people call me an idiot to my face.””